Last night

I feel horrible...
Not because I'm hungover
But because I disappointed myself.
I disappointed my mother.
I lost control
I did it to myself.

She trusted me and I broke that trust.
I was suppose to be good
Why the fuck did I drink so much.
I got caught up in the hype...

Before I knew It I was throwing up
I hate when that happens, usually I feel better
After I get it all out but not this time.
I felt so dizzy, I just wanted to lay down
I didn't care that there was people in my house
I just had to lay down
Shit was moving to fast for me...

I went to my room and passed out on the floor
Around 3 o'clock my mom comes in my room looking for me
Cause niggas was playing the music to loud.
She woke me up
& Said, your okay, tell your friends to leave and go to bed.
I felt a little at eaze, but I knew you was mad.
I knew she knew I was done off.
& I know thats why she didnt ohdee on me.

After they left, the back room was filthy!
Gum on the carpet, spilled drinks everywhere.
Ashes on the table, I knew I couldn't clean it up then
That meant I had to wake up early and do it.

It was the best sleep of my life
I was knocked out!
Woke up at 9 to clean up
But didnt get off the bed till 10
My mom helped me clean up
& she said my friends cant come back again.
She told me she was disappointed in me
I should have never gotten so drunk in my own house
With "friends" around me

She knows my struggle with friends
She tells me all the time
Everyone is not your friend Petrill
Stop letting these people fool you

Friends around me ain't all friends.
They pretend to be and take advantage of me.
I realized last night this lifestyle aint for me.

I'd rather be laid up watching movies all weekend.
All this party, smoking, drinking...
That's it
It's dead to me
I'm checking into rehab
I gotta change me