Gasp (now complete)

Bittersweet lies

Deceive the eyes

of the reader..

Lead me on you heartless whore,

you know you just wanna fuck me.

I'm just a bad girl

Stuck in this bad world

Bad habits that I refuse to drop

Lead me to make bad decisions

That set me up for a bad life.

Badd life.

Life is bad.

Steer me away from me

Turn me into the person you want me to be

You love me but you want to change me.

I need me to change,

Change is free

Yet so hard to obtain.

I wanna be better,

I wanna do right,

but no matter what I just keep doing wrong.

The devil.

He lives in me.

The corrupt corners of my mind..

lead me to believe....

that theres no other explanation

other than the one just mention

Satan is alive

He reins me.

Daddy, your drunk.

I always hated when I was out with my friends

and I got a call from my mom, usually before any of my fun starts

& she's telling me to come home because you we're drunk.

I would* always come right away

because I believed in the fear in her voice

when she mermered over the phone

I just had to listen.

But as time when by and I grew older

and gained a better understanding of my family

I realized that I hated when that happened

& after a while I didn't wanna listen to my mom

....when you said "come home".

"baby come home, your father is drunk"

......but mom! i just got here

"just come home, he will yell at you, you know how he gets"

She was right.

I do know how he gets.

How can someone... a father get like that towards his wife... his kids.

I'll never forget my sisters screams

"Daddy your drunk"

"Daddy your drunk"

It was always weird because my father isn't the type to apologize

So the next morning would be totally awkward

Because he would just act like nothing even happened

...but in reality a lot happened

...a lot of internal hurt happened