Knowing all the pain I cause her.
You know all my life I hated when she told me what to do
Always got mad when she said I can't go out
But it wasn't until today;
this very day
that i realized that
every single thing
she told me to do
was for my own good.
I can say it now because it was this very day.
It took this day for me to understand what a mother does.
The job of a mother is not an easy one.
"I will do anything for my children"
Not what I thought I'd hear from her mouth
After I told her the most hurtful news I ever had to deliver.
I swear I wanna be better.
I swear I need to be someone.
I need to start listening to my mother.
It took me 19 years to see that she was right
All this time.
I can't stand disappointing her.
I just wanna make her proud.
How am I suppose to do that when I continue to do bad.
She says she feels like I don't love her
and I don't trust her,
& I always lie to her.
Honest to God
I'm scared,
I'm scared to come to her with the truth
I don't want her to be ashamed of me
I don't want her to not love me
I don't want her to regret having me.
It took me 19 years to realize that I am my mother daughter
She will always fight for me,
Always love me
& always want the best for me.
Mommy told me to stop pleasing friends
Do whats right for me,
Those words never use to mean anything to me
Until today.
Today is the first day I listened to my mother.
I know in my heart that I can't keep disappointing her
I can't keep stressing her.
I can't keep failing myself
Mommy I love you
I trust you
and I'm sorry
I hope one day I can be the women you raised me to be...
With everyday that goes by I try to make sense of my mistakes
I don't want to be wrong anymore.
I wanna do right by you.
Because in the end
Where are all my friends?
I look around and theres no one left holding me
but you..
my dear mother.
